Vipassana Retreat
2 ratings since posting on Friday, February 8, 2008
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in Hawaii
(submitted by
Mateo
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Overall Rating based on 2 ratings |
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I did a Vipassana retreat 20 years ago and had these same deep inner realizations. But the mind regained control again for many years and these truths I have nearly forgotten. Thank you Mateo, for your exquisite essay! - Allan , posted 02/17/08 |
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So I participated in my first Vipassana meditation course over the holidays about a month ago and I figured it was high time to stop putting this off and lay down some lines. Also, there has been a lot of processing that has happened since I left that idyllic retreat. It has taken some time to really appreciate all that I experienced and I have had some late coming epiphanies about the process I went through and… life in general. We arrived at the camp, Lutheran summer, I believe, the day after Christmas on a gorgeous island afternoon. Alas, this weather was short lived. We immediately set about constructing our humble domiciles for the next ten days; our tents. You see, in Hawaii, Vipassana is done a little different than in most places. We slept in individual small tents, meditated in a large group tent, and received our material sustenance under glorified tarps. We began the course by listening to the rules we were to live by for the next ten days. No communication. Not just no talking, no eye contact, gestures, nada! No rituals or regular activities like yoga, writing, reading, playing of instruments, dancing, or even art. We weren’t even allowed to pick any of the tropical fruit that was dripping of the trees. Our schedule was identical every day. The gong was sounded at 4am in the morning and meditation commenced at 4:20. Yeah, I laughed about that too. Meditation until 6:30 am. Breakfast until 8. Group meditation until 9. Meditation until lunch at noon. Meditation began again at 2:30 and continued until dinner at 6. At 7 we had another group meditation for an hour and then we sat and watched Goenke, the successor of the tradition, discourse for an hour on a DVD and then… that’s right, you guessed it! More meditation, and finally about 10 we retired to our tents for sleep. Whewww! Sound hard? It was! Excruciatingly! And somewhere towards the middle of the course we were informed, by posters of course, that during the group sits we would be expected to go the entire hour without moving our postures or opening our eyes. HA!!! Actually, the very last day, during the very last meditation, I finally made it. I spent a fair amount of the ten days in lots and lots of pain. But, hey! The food was excellent. We were served by volunteers who delivered our breakfast and lunch daily, and silently of course, with loving care. No I didn’t forget to mention dinner. There was none. That’s right, we ate at 6 and noon, and the rest of the day… well, actually they did give us some fruit in the evening. Suffice it to say, I went to bed hungry every night. And that was it! Oh yeah, it rained like no tomorrow. Hamakua Baby! Actually there were a couple of sunny days, and even a startlingly beautiful rainbow, but my tent never dried out. I was wondering when I got there why everybody else’s tent had tarps on the bottom AND on top. Oh. That’s really all there is to it, but to sum up the experience, it was like being in a prison of my own mind. And take my word for it, its not a pretty place. Trying to watch your mind is like trying to keep a cat in one place by saying, “Stay!” Good Luck! Which leads me to the epiphany that has been gradually seeping over my consciousness… Remember that movie, The Matrix? I always wondered why it struck me so, especially after having to tolerate so much less than appealing acting. Its because of the story, the plot. Its haunting isn’t it? That robots could be controlling our lives without us even knowing it, or even, for the most part, suspecting it. What better way to enslave someone than to give them the idea that THEY are actually in charge. And then last night I saw Zeitgeist and realized that it IS happening to us, RIGHT NOW! Except its not robots, its international money lenders. But the epiphany that has been gradually gaining momentum inside of me gives me the notion that its been happening for a lot longer. At least for the last 2500 years. I know it has been that long because that’s when the Buddha discovered it. You see, Vipassana is the direct teaching of the Buddha, preserved in the backwaters of Burma while it was adulterated in Siddhartha Guatama’s own homeland of India. Buddhism itself would surely be as disheartening to Guatama as Christianity must be to Jesus. The Buddha didn’t want people to follow him or worship him, he wanted them to wake up to the fact that they were slaves. Just as we are still slaves today. But this is no external aggressor which controls us, it is in fact our own minds. Our minds react to our cravings and aversions without our control or even awareness and this leads us all to suffering for the things we want but don’t get or don’t want but DO get! I realized during and after this course that I am NOT in control of my mind. My mind acts like a crazy person. It thinks about this, and then it thinks about that, and this and that and it is constantly being infiltrated and disturbed by external stimuli. I get upset because of expectations that are not met. WHY? How can I let things external to myself cause me grief? I am 100% responsible for my own happiness, so why do I give that power away? Why, indeed. Well, the Buddha came up with a solution. The first step to liberation is acknowledging that you are slave. Good. Now where do we go from here? Well… The Buddha had answer for that question 2500 years ago. Take control back from the wandering mind. To do this one must limit all external simulation by sitting still with the eyes closed in a quiet place. This is where the fun begins. The mind is very happy being in control, and it does not want to relinquish its power. So, it revolts. It will do everything it can to keep you from paying keen, close and persistent attention to it. Mastery over the mind is crucial. And this is NOT easy, in fact it is quite painful and frustrating, but with perseverance, it can be accomplished. Next, one must carefully observe all sensations with equanimity. This means focusing attention on the body and scanning through it looking for sensations. It is not easy at first, but with time, it comes. Now, the really hard part. Equanimity. You must observe all of these stimulations WITHOUT reacting. Painful sensation…. So it goes. Pleasurable sensations, so it goes. No reaction, no “I like this”, or “I don’t like that”, just noticing without judgment. Basically, we are reprogramming the mind not to react. And when we have done this successfully, we are free. At least in theory. But having spent SO many hours practicing it, I have begun to notice beautiful differences in my daily life, and I am convinced it works. Aneechah has become my mantra. Arise and pass, arise and pass. All things must pass. And our suffering comes from attachment. But if everything in life must pass, why do we get attached and therefore suffer? Because we are not in control, we are slaves to the last thing we would expect, our own minds. Now this is a rational understanding, an understanding that occurs by way of the mind. Salvation lies in practice. And the key to practice is effort. And the key to effort is commitment. I would never have begun this path without the Vipassana retreat. I am extremely grateful for this opportunity which is changing my life. Years ago, when I first heard about it, I thought, “WOW that’s AWESOME, I’ve got to do that. But the years slipped by and I never did. Because I was afraid. I was convinced I would fail. There were a million reasons why I didn’t want to do it. And so my mind remained unthreatened in its control. Vipassana was easily the hardest thing I have ever convinced myself to do, but it was also the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I recommend that everyone take ten days out of their life for this adventure. I guarantee you will not regret it. If you finish. But you will. I believe in you. And so does the Universe. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. May all beings have peace. Svaha! - Mateo , posted 02/08/08 |
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